Knock Knock Jokes II

1. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Dot. Dot who? Dot’s for me to know and you to find out. (That’s for me to know and you to find out.)

2. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Ivan. Ivan who? Ivan to suck your blood. (I want to suck your blood.)

3. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Ice cream? Ice cream who? Ice cream every time I see a ghost. (I scream every time I see a ghost.)

4. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Annie. Annie who? Annie thing you can do, I can do better. (Anything you can do, I can do better.)

5. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Dwayne. Dwayne who? Dwayne the bathtub, I’m dwowning. (Drain the bathtub, I’m drowning.)

6. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Boo. Boo who? Don’t cry, it’s only a joke.

7. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Lettuce. Lettuce who? Lettuce in and you’ll find out. (Let us in and you’ll find out.)

8. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Despair. Despair who? Despair tire is flat. (The spare tire is flat.)

9. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Closure. Closure who? Closure mouth when you’re eating. (Close your mouth when you’re eating.)

10. Knock Knock. Who’s there? Dexter. Dexter who? Dexter halls with boughs of holly. (Deck the halls with boughs of holly.)

Idioms

backed into a corner—in a difficult situation—When the police went to the criminal’s house with an arrest warrant, the criminal knew he was backed into a corner.
bark up the wrong tree—look for something in the wrong place or do something in the wrong way—My friend thought her boyfriend would make a good husband, but I thought she was barking up the wrong tree.

Bear the brunt—suffer the worst of something—Middle class families in America bear the brunt of the American government’s outrageous spending.

beat around the bush—not say something directly because you don't want to answer a question—When I asked my neighbor about his job, he started beating around the bush. The next day, I found out that he had been fired.

beat the rap—to be found innocent of something you are guilty of—O. J. Simpson beat the rap for murder.

behind someone’s back—do something to someone without them knowing about it—It’s not polite to talk about people behind their back.

behind the times—old fashioned—If you don’t know how to use a computer, you are really behind the times!

beside the point/neither here nor there—something that doesn’t matter to you—Congress thought what the American people wanted was beside the point/neither here nor there. So, they voted for a tax increase.

Children's Sayings

Making a promise:

Cross my heart and hope to die—Stick a needle in my eye.

Walking on a sidewalk:

Step on a crack, break your mother’s back. Step on a line, break your father’s spine.

Prayer before eating a meal:

God is great. God is good. Let us thank Him for our food. By His hands, we are fed. Thank you, Lord, for daily bread. Amen.

Prayer before going to sleep:

Now I lay me down to sleep. I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take. Amen.

Traveling games:
I Spy:

I spy with my little eye something that is green (or another color)

Alphabet game:

A my name is Alice and my husband’s name is Albert. We live in Alabama and we sell apples. B my name is Brenda and my ……..

Song:

99 bottles of beer on the wall, 99 bottles of beer—Take one down, pass it around—98 bottles of beer on the wall. 98 bottles of …

Going To The Doctor

Here are some examples of questions a doctor might ask you and possible answers:

1. How are you feeling today?

I feel great. I’m here for a check-up (or physical). OR
I don’t feel very well. My ____________ hurts. OR
I don’t feel very well. I’m having trouble with my ________.

2. How long have you been having this problem?

It’s been bothering me for _______________.

3. What are your symptoms?

I’ve had __________________.

4. Have you seen a doctor about this before?

No, this is the first time I’ve had this problem. OR
Yes, I saw a doctor in Japan about ___________ ago.


5. So, what did the doctor in Japan say? How were you treated? Do you think you need the same treatment again?

The doctor in Japan told me to ____________. He gave me ___________.

6. Okay, I’ll write you a prescription for _________. Come back and see me again if the medicine isn’t working.

Knock Knock Jokes

1. Knock Knock! Who's there? Police. Police who? Police let us in; it's cold out here. (Please let us in; it’s cold out here.)

2. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Doris. Doris who? Doris locked. So, I had to knock. (The door is locked. So, I had to knock.)

3. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Norma Lee. Norma Lee who? Norma Lee I don’t knock, but the doorbell is broken. (Normally, I don’t knock, but the doorbell is broken.)

4. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Goat. Goat who? Goat to the door and find out. (Go to the door and find out.)

5. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Old lady. Old lady who? I didn’t know you could yodel!

6. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Olive. Olive who? Olive you. (I love you.)

7. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Anita. Anita who? Anita borrow a pencil. (I need to borrow a pencil.)

8. Knock Knock! Who’s there? Woo. Woo who? Don’t get so excited—it’s a just a knock knock joke.

Knock Knock! Who’s there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad you know some knock knock jokes? (Aren’t you glad you know some knock knock jokes?)

Making a Doctor's Appointment and a Few More Idioms

1. Here is a sample conversation of how to make a doctor’s appointment:

Receptionist: This is Dr. Jones’ office. May I help you?
Patient: Yes, I need to make an appointment to see the doctor.
Receptionist: Are you a new patient?
Patient: No, I’ve seen Dr. Jones before. OR Yes, I’m a new patient.
Receptionist: Okay—why do you need to see the doctor?
Patient: I’ve had a sore throat for a week.
Receptionist: Okay—can you come today at 3:00?
Patient: Yes, I’ll be there. OR No, can I come at another time?

2. When you visit a doctor for the first time, you have to fill out a lot of forms. Sometimes, it’s possible to fill out the forms at home. When you make your appointment, you can ask the receptionist:
Can I download the new patient forms on-line or can you mail them to me?

Next time: Sample questions and answers at the doctor’s office

Idioms:

Your bread and butter—the source of your income—If you are a beautician, hair is your bread and butter.

Ballpark figure/in the ballpark—a close estimate—I’m not sure how much the house costs, but it’s in the ballpark of $200,000.

Blessing in disguise—something that seems bad at first, but it ends with a good result—Tyler was disappointed when he didn’t make the basketball team. It turned out to be a blessing in disguise because he joined the swim team and really liked it.

Back to square one—stop and start something again because it’s not going well—I made a big mistake on my quilt. So, I had to go back to square one and start all over.
Back to the drawing board—making a new plan or design because the old one isn’t working—The house wouldn’t fit on the lot, so the architect had to go back to the drawing board.

October Schedule

Friday, October 23rd--Friday Bible Class--We will meet at 9:30 a.m. at Riverdale Baptist Church. We will study, "Rebekah's Children".

Thursday, October 29th--English and Cooking Lesson at Ava's house from 11:30 a.m. to 2:00 p.m. We will have an English Lesson, "Making a Doctor's Appointment, a Few More Idioms, and Knock Knock Jokes". Then, I will show you how to make a breakfast casserole. Please bring a simple drink or snack to share. Since we are making a breakfast casserole, fruit, muffins, juices, etc. would be great! It's okay to come late or leave early.

Saturday, October 31st--Halloween! Our church won't have a fall festival this year. If you want to bring your kids to "trick or treat" in Indian Hills, you can park your car at my house. I will be passing out candy and I would love to see you!

We won't have a Sunday Class in October. The Sunday Class will meet again on 11/22.
Japanese translation and Bibles are provided for the Bible Study Classes. Childcare is also provided. Children are also welcome to stay in the class with us.

Please invite a new friend to join us!

Going to the Bank and a Few More Idioms

1. If you can’t use an ATM or your debit card and you need cash, write a check to “cash” or to yourself for the amount of money you want. Then, go to the bank and tell the bank teller, “I want to cash this check please”. If the banks are closed, you can usually cash a check at the grocery store. You need to write the check to the store (example, Kroger) and then ask them to cash it for you. If you aren’t sure if the store will cash a check for you, you can ask, “Can I write a check for cash?”

2. If someone writes you a check and you want to cash it, sign the back of the check and tell the bank teller, “I need to cash this check please”. If you want to deposit the check into your account you need to fill out a deposit slip and sign your name on the back of the check. Then, write “For Deposit Only” and your account number on the back of the check. Tell the teller, “I want to deposit this check into my account please”.

3. If you get charged a fee and you don’t understand why, you can tell the teller, “Can you please explain this fee?” OR “Can I have a written explanation of this fee?”

Some banking phrases: “bounce a check”, “balance your checkbook”, “bank statement”, “check register”, “deposit slip”, “endorse a check”

IDIOMS

ASAP—As soon as possible—My husband asked me to come to his office as soon as possible.

Asking for trouble—behaving in a risky manner—If you put all of your money in the stock market, you are asking for trouble.

At my wits’ end—frustrated because you can’t solve a problem—I was at my wits’ end when I was helping my son with his homework last night.

At the drop of a hat—without notice or preparation—My neighbor loves to get out of the house and she is ready to go anywhere at the drop of a hat.

Greetings And A Few More Idioms

1. “Hello. It’s nice to meet you.” (first time greeting)

2. “Long time no see.” (you haven’t seen them in a while)

3. “What have you been up to?” (What have you been doing since the last time I saw you?)

4. “What's new?” (Do you have any changes in your life?)

5. (If someone comes to your house) “Thanks for coming.”

6. “Thanks for having me. You have a beautiful home.” (when someone invites you to their home)

7. “I've heard so much about you. It's nice to put a face to a name. (you are meeting someone you have heard about before)

Now, a few more idioms:

8. “all the rage”—something that is very fashionable or popular

In the ‘50’s, blue jeans and t-shirts were all the rage.

9. “an ax to grind”—a problem with someone

I had an ax to grind with Paul’s teacher, so I arranged a conference with her.

10. “around the clock”—happening all the time

My neighbors were so noisy! They had parties around the clock.

Idioms

1. above the law—not subject to the laws of society

No one is above the law in our country—not even the President.

2. Achilles’ heel—a weakness that could result in failure

His lack of self-control was his Achilles’ heel.

3. across the board—relating to everyone, without exception

The company released a statement saying there would be across the board pay freezes.

4. adding fuel to the fire—making a bad situation worse

If your boss is angry, don’t say anything to him. You’d just be adding fuel to the fire.

5. against all odds—an event that seems impossible

After the car accident, the doctors said the boy wouldn’t live, but he survived against all odds.

6. agree to disagree—to accept that another person has a different
opinion; to stop trying to change another person’s opinion

It’s better to agree to disagree than to argue.

7. ahead of the game—to have an advantage

The teenager had been taking tennis lessons since he was 3 years old. So, he was ahead of the game.

Change

The word “change” can be used a lot of different ways. Change can be a noun (loose change) or a verb (change your clothes). There are also some idioms that use the word “change”.

1. The beggar asked us if we had any spare change.

2. I fell in the mud, so I changed my clothes.

3. I used to like to stay up late, but I’ve changed. Now, I go to bed
early.

4. The store changed hands last year. (The store got new owners
last year.)

5. I should have gotten $20 back from the cashier, but I only got
$10. I was short-changed.

6. My neighbor used to let children play in her yard, but she
changed her tune and put up “no trespassing signs”.

7. My son couldn’t decide if he wanted a Nintendo or a Play
Station. He kept changing his mind.

Discussion:

8. Have you ever been “short-changed”? What did you do?

9. Do you change your mind a lot?

10. Do like change or do you like for things to stay the same?

11. How do you deal with big changes in your life?

The History of Saint Valentine's Day

1. Valentine's Day started in the time of the Roman Empire.


2. In ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honor Juno, the Queen of the Roman Goddesses and the Goddess of marriage.


3. The young Roman boys and girls usually had separate lives. However, on February 14th the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each boy would draw a girl's name from the jar. They would be paired together to attend a special festival. Sometimes the pairing of the children lasted an entire year. Sometimes they would fall in love and get married.


4. Rome had many wars. Emperor Claudius II had a hard time getting soldiers to leave their families and join the wars. So, he cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome.


5. Saint Valentine was a priest in Rome during this time. He secretly married couples who wanted to get married. He also helped Christians escape Roman prisons. He was apprehended and put into prison. Legends say he fell in love with the jailer’s daughter while he was in prison. He sent the first “valentine” to her. He declared his love for her and signed it from “Your Valentine”.


6. St. Valentine was condemned to death. He was killed on February 14th, 270. Eventually, February 14th became the date for couples to exchange love messages. Saint Valentine became the patron of saint of lovers.


7. In America, the first valentines were sold in the 1800’s. Valentines Day has become very popular. Many couples exchange gifts or become engaged or get married on this day.