1. What did the stamp say to the envelope? I'm stuck on you.
2. What did the light bulb say to the switch? You turn me on.
3. What did the boy sheep say to the girl sheep on Valentine's Day? I Love Ewe!
4. What did the boy owl say to the girl owl on Valentine's Day? Owl be yours!
5. What did the boy squirrel say to the girl squirrel on Valentine's Day? I'm nuts about you!
6. What did the paper clip say to the magnet? I find you very attractive.
7. What did one light bulb say to the other? I love you a whole watt!
8. What do farmers give their wives on Valentine's Day? Hogs and kisses!
9. Knock knock. Who's there? Howard. Howard who? Howard you like a big kiss? (How would you like a big kiss?)
10. Knock knock. Who's there? Sherwood. Sherwood who? Sherwood like to be your valentine! (I sure would like to be your Valentine.)
11. Knock knock. Who's there? Pooch. Pooch who? Pooch your arms around me, baby! (Put your arms around me, baby!)
12. Knock knock. Who’s there? Luke. Luke who? Luke, I got a Valentine! (Look, I got a Valentine!)
Monday, February 21, 2011
The History of St. Valentine's Day
1. Valentine's Day started during the time of the Roman Empire.
2. In ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honor Juno, the Queen of the Roman Goddesses and the Goddess of marriage.
3. Young Roman boys and girls rarely saw each other because they had separate schools and activities. However, on February 14th the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each boy would draw a girl's name from the jar. Then, they would be paired together to attend a special festival. Sometimes this pairing lasted an entire year. Sometimes the couples would fall in love and get married.
4. After this time, Rome had many wars and it was hard to get soldiers to leave their families and fight in the wars. So, Emporer Claudius II cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome.
5. Saint Valentine was a priest in Rome during this time. He secretly married couples who wanted to get married. He was arrested and put into prison. Legends say he fell in love with the jailer’s daughter while he was in prison. He sent the first “valentine” to her. He declared his love for her and signed it from “Your Valentine”.
6. St. Valentine was condemned to death. He was killed on February 14th, 270. Eventually, February 14th became the date for couples to exchange love messages and Saint Valentine became the patron of saint of lovers.
7. In America, the first valentines were sold in the 1800’s. Valentines Day has become very popular. Many couples exchange gifts, become engaged, or get married on this day.
2. In ancient Rome, February 14th was a holiday to honor Juno, the Queen of the Roman Goddesses and the Goddess of marriage.
3. Young Roman boys and girls rarely saw each other because they had separate schools and activities. However, on February 14th the names of Roman girls were written on slips of paper and placed into jars. Each boy would draw a girl's name from the jar. Then, they would be paired together to attend a special festival. Sometimes this pairing lasted an entire year. Sometimes the couples would fall in love and get married.
4. After this time, Rome had many wars and it was hard to get soldiers to leave their families and fight in the wars. So, Emporer Claudius II cancelled all marriages and engagements in Rome.
5. Saint Valentine was a priest in Rome during this time. He secretly married couples who wanted to get married. He was arrested and put into prison. Legends say he fell in love with the jailer’s daughter while he was in prison. He sent the first “valentine” to her. He declared his love for her and signed it from “Your Valentine”.
6. St. Valentine was condemned to death. He was killed on February 14th, 270. Eventually, February 14th became the date for couples to exchange love messages and Saint Valentine became the patron of saint of lovers.
7. In America, the first valentines were sold in the 1800’s. Valentines Day has become very popular. Many couples exchange gifts, become engaged, or get married on this day.
Pronunciation Lesson
Word Stress
1. The first “key” to English pronunciation is word stress. To understand word stress, you have to understand syllables.
2. Every word is made from syllables. Each word has one, two, three or more syllables. For examples look at the chart below:
word number of syllables
quite quite 1
quiet qui-et 2
orange or-ange 2
table ta-ble 2
expensive ex-pen-sive 3
interesting in-ter-est-ing 4
realistic re-al-is-tic 4
unexceptional un-ex-cep-tion-al 5
3. Notice that every syllable contains at least one vowel (a, e, i, o or u) or vowel sound.
4. Word stress is very important for speaking English. In every multiple-syllable word, one syllable is accentuated more than the other syllables.
Examples: TEACHer. photoGRAPHic, deMAND, imPORtant
5. There are two very simple but important rules about word stress:
1. Every word only has 1 stress—if you hear 2 stresses, you are hearing 2 words
2. The stress is always on a vowel.
Sentence Stress
1. Just as English uses word stress, it also uses sentence stress. The basic rules of sentence stress are:
1. content words are stressed
2. structure words are unstressed
3. the time between stressed words is always the same
2. Content words are necessary to understand the meaning of the sentence.
main verbs SELL, GIVE, EMPLOY
Nouns CAR, MUSIC, MARY
adjectives RED, BIG, INTERESTING
adverbs QUICKLY, LOUDLY, NEVER
negative auxiliaries DON'T, AREN'T, CAN'T
4. Structure words aren’t necessary to understand the meaning of the sentence, but they are necessary for correct grammar.
pronouns he, we, they
prepositions on, at, into
articles a, an, the
conjunctions and, but, because
auxiliary verbs do, be, have, can, must
5. Example: I will sell my car when I go back to Japan.
In this sentence, you would stress the words in boldface type.
6. Exception: Sometimes we can stress a word that would normally be only a structure word to correct information. For example:
"They've been to China, haven't they?"
"No, THEY haven't, but WE have.
1. The first “key” to English pronunciation is word stress. To understand word stress, you have to understand syllables.
2. Every word is made from syllables. Each word has one, two, three or more syllables. For examples look at the chart below:
word number of syllables
quite quite 1
quiet qui-et 2
orange or-ange 2
table ta-ble 2
expensive ex-pen-sive 3
interesting in-ter-est-ing 4
realistic re-al-is-tic 4
unexceptional un-ex-cep-tion-al 5
3. Notice that every syllable contains at least one vowel (a, e, i, o or u) or vowel sound.
4. Word stress is very important for speaking English. In every multiple-syllable word, one syllable is accentuated more than the other syllables.
Examples: TEACHer. photoGRAPHic, deMAND, imPORtant
5. There are two very simple but important rules about word stress:
1. Every word only has 1 stress—if you hear 2 stresses, you are hearing 2 words
2. The stress is always on a vowel.
Sentence Stress
1. Just as English uses word stress, it also uses sentence stress. The basic rules of sentence stress are:
1. content words are stressed
2. structure words are unstressed
3. the time between stressed words is always the same
2. Content words are necessary to understand the meaning of the sentence.
main verbs SELL, GIVE, EMPLOY
Nouns CAR, MUSIC, MARY
adjectives RED, BIG, INTERESTING
adverbs QUICKLY, LOUDLY, NEVER
negative auxiliaries DON'T, AREN'T, CAN'T
4. Structure words aren’t necessary to understand the meaning of the sentence, but they are necessary for correct grammar.
pronouns he, we, they
prepositions on, at, into
articles a, an, the
conjunctions and, but, because
auxiliary verbs do, be, have, can, must
5. Example: I will sell my car when I go back to Japan.
In this sentence, you would stress the words in boldface type.
6. Exception: Sometimes we can stress a word that would normally be only a structure word to correct information. For example:
"They've been to China, haven't they?"
"No, THEY haven't, but WE have.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)